Bereavement Services

High Peak CVS Bereavement Support Groups Service

At some point in our lives most of us will experience the devastating loss of a loved one. This is quite likely to be the biggest and most challenging change to your life.

Grieving is personal and individual, the circumstances around and leading to the death are different, and your reactions to it will be yours. But there are also some feelings we may well have in common with others and this became clear in our support groups where grieving people were able to share their feelings and struggles. They bravely shared and then managed to support each other and continue to do so. They have all felt the benefit of talking and sharing in a safe supported place with the reassurance that everybody there will understand and all are there for the same reasons. 

Common Themes and Feelings 

• Feeling shocked and numb, unable to really grasp that this is real, the person is really gone and not coming back. This can also be the case even if your loved one was ill for a time and the death was expected. 

• Totally lost, unable to concentrate even to watch TV or read a book or newspaper or remember seemingly simple things. Physical symptoms of pain, unable to sleep well and appetite affected, feeling clumsy and forgetful. 

• Feeling overwhelmed, ‘going mad’, unable to even imagine being ok again. Feelings of fear and feeling more vulnerable

• Deep sadness for and longing for the loved one to walk back through the door, wishing none of this had ever happened. 

• Guilt over what could have been done to either prevent the person from dying or from what you wish you had done or said while they were alive. 

• Feeling robbed of your plans, a future and more time together. 

• Displaced identity, ‘who am I without my loved one?’ Unable to imagine ever being happy again

• Anger that the person has left you to face this grief and the rest of your life without them. Anger at the world or anybody involved in the death or circumstances of the death for allowing this to happen.  

• Guilt for laughing or having a nice time without your loved one or realizing you’ve not thought of them for a few hours. Feeling anxiety that you might forget your loved one….  

Contrary to some assumptions about grieving, these multiple and often complex feelings don’t follow a time line or come in predictable stages. Some group participants have described their feelings like waves, some are small and you might ‘see them coming’ and learn to cope a bit better with them. Some are bigger and need different coping mechanisms, whereas some are huge and seem to come from nowhere and we are overwhelmed. Talking these things through with others certainly seems to help. You are not alone with these challenging times and others will understand you and have their own experiences to share.    

We have been privileged to bring grieving people together and create a space where they can walk this incredibly difficult walk together with others also trying to find their way. 

Our Bereavement and Loss Support groups are funded through the National Lottery and all the details are here:

Bereavement Support Group Buxton

Bereavement Support Group Chapel

Bereavement Support Group Glossop

Please Note: Due to the current COVID-19 pandemic, there are restrictions in place but please do get in touch if you feel these could be a benefit to you and we can talk through how we can help.

For more details about these groups or for any bereavement-related advice contact Liz Fletcher on 07702 168187 or email: lizsgp@highpeakcvs.org.uk

Quotes from people attending our support groups 

"[In the group] I felt safe, relaxed, at home, interested, valued and supported. The friendliness worked for me, the help to understand and the stimulus to think more deeply about bereavement. But the best thing about it was the people, there was a sanctuary effect.” 

"I never felt I was a burden to anybody and this was a relief as I had started to feel that with family. I felt safe enough to just be upset if that’s where I was that day, well I was most days, I could stay with it and we explored these feelings, others were doing the same, we were together with it. The group was the best thing I did for me and I felt a deep bond with the others, they all were lovely and came to matter to me a lot.”

"I felt safe, I felt heard and understood and listening to others I gained some perspective on my situation. It was the right place for me to be”. 

"The set discussions really worked for me, especially those on coping and taking care of yourself and forgiving yourself. Forgiving myself what not something I realised I needed to do, but when we all talked about it, I did. I felt much more supported being in the group”.  

Bereavement Resources

Coronavirus Bereavement Support
 
Community FundFunded by the Community Fund


Last Modified: 18 Sep 2020
Website Assistant
  • Groups
    Support
  • Help for your group: setting up, constitution, structure, management, meetings, funding, etc.
  • Members
    Partners
  • Membership of HPCVS for organisations, and Corporate Partnership for local businesses.
  • How
    Guides
  • Information sheets on a wide range of subjects relevant to voluntary and community groups.