If you have lost a loved one to Covid-19, you may have lost them very suddenly, even been unable to be with them while they were ill. You may have been unable to have the funeral you wanted or have family and friends around you for support when you needed them the most. These are exceptionally hard circumstances in which to lose somebody.
It’s hard for everybody at the moment with the worrying and changing news every day, lockdown and our daily life disrupted. Some of the things that keep us well may well have stopped or be restricted (classes, groups or face to face contact with our family and friends) Simple things we can normally take for granted like stopping to chat in the street, going for a second walk because the evening is so nice, or asking a friend over for a cup of tea and a chat, a hug or a handshake. Ordinary things have become much more complicated to say the least.
These struggles can be really exacerbated if you are grieving for a loved one. You may feel more alone than ever and the person you would’ve faced all of this with, and given strength to each other, has died. Leaving you grieving, alone and facing a very challenging global situation as well.
Tell your family and friends or someone you trust that you are struggling, a listening ear and a friendly voice will help you feel less alone. You may worry that they have enough on with their own worries and families, but it’s most likely they will want to know how you are doing, how you are really doing. Ask for more regular contact if this is possible, phone, email, messaging, zoom, skype… whatever works for you. Tell them if there’s a time of day that is particularly hard for you, a call or message at this time could help.
You were incredibly important to your loved one, you are incredibly important to your family and friends. Now however, along with lots of other really difficult feelings, you may sometimes feel not so important to yourself. Feelings like these are not uncommon and they may come and go and come back again. Despite these challenging emotional swings, now is the time to take extra care of you. Here is a video around taking care of yourself during difficult times:
There are lots of ideas and resources to help with self-care, have a look at some of the links listed here or do a search more suited to your tastes. There are so many YouTube films for exercise, yoga, art, gardening, crafts….just pick and choose those that appeal, or even revisit those things that used to work for you. Try to do maybe one or two things a day and also remember rest, eating well and moving and stretching are all important for taking care of you.
There is a growing amount of advice, useful information and sources of available support. This list will change and develop as the needs of bereaved people in these circumstances become clearer to organisations keen respond appropriately and to try to help you. Here are some of the most useful links and helplines we have found and we will try to update these regularly.